tom-sits-like-a-whore:

reasons to date me

  • no pressure to wear pants in my presence
  • or any clothes at all really
  • but it’s up to you
  • u can be big spoon or little spoon
  • totally your choice
  • i’m always ready to make out
  • aLwaYs
  • also u don’t even have to buy me things just maybe an ice cream cone every once in a while that’s it 
  • i’ll let you lick it though
  • i mean the ice cream cone
  • well not just the ice cream cone

shamitomita:

support group for people who keep reading “gummies” as “cummies”

exactable:

I wish I could illegally download clothes

2yrs:

take a chill pill, your honor

gllorious:

mom can you give me $1000000 please it’s for school

colorfulgrier:

netflix-n-boys:

*after

amen!

perrfectly:

if i don’t insult you daily, it means i don’t like you 

succulentthighs:

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like this is it, this is how it ends 

sassykardashian:

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER JUST BREATHE IN THE HELIUM OUT OF A BALLOON AND HAVE AN ARGUMENT AND THE FIRST ONE TO LAUGH LOSES

reblog if your icon is a sex god from the high heavens